Didn't Think So...

what is going on here?  the march of the turtle brigade??  is my yard part of the highway to turtle heaven or am i just losing my mind??  maybe i can start a new blog solely about reptiles traversing through my front yard.  it seems to be the trend these days.  

i had decided to let this gal do her thing and not call the po-po to remove her for trespassing...right up until i saw her burrowing under the mulch around my hydrangea bush in desperate search of water.  it wasn't the turtle i was worried about it was my HYDRANGEA!  i don't want some dead carcass to have to deal with tomorrow after the sun fries her butt.  i can only imagine how bad that might smell.  if i were a true arkansan, i'd probably have fried her myself in a cast iron skillet and used the bones for turtle soup.  then i'd drive somewhere and not use my turn signal ever.  then i'd proudly display the shell on my kitchen wall and have an awesome story to tell all of my visitors (yes this ACTUALLY happened to me...well almost like that, except there was a bullet hole in the shell and the old lady didn't actually eat the turtle she just shot it for fun while it took a swim in her pond)!!  ok, so it's a stretch!  still....in my generous, loving, and thoughtful way, i decided this turtle was small enough and kinda cute enough to attempt rescuing myself, even though i had a 6 pack of cold hard cider that needed drinking, and even though i might risk losing a finger if this dame was anything like the last one!  but i do have a heart somewhere in there so i threw the dogs in the truck, grabbed a bucket with an inch of cold water in it, picked ol' betsy up (who was clinging for dear life to the earth of my flower bed), threw her in the bucket which went on the front seat, and headed on down the road.  the little jerk almost managed to escape which sent me into panic and could've easily resulted in me diving out my window while the rest of them went barreling down the road without a driver!  i smacked her silly and told her if she tried a stunt like that again i had no problem leaving her on the road for dead!  if there is one thing i don't like, it's bugs.  and snakes.  and rodents.  and fish.  and TURTLES.  sigh.  

all i have to say is...